"Man sues BMW, alleging motorcycle seat gave him two-year erection."

Full Article:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-sues-bmw-alleging-motorcycle-seat-gave-him-010902532.html

My Summary:
Here is the latest ridiculous lawsuit allowed by the court system in California. A gentlemen is suing BMW because his motorcycle had a "rigid seat" and as a result caused "mental and emotional anguish." Why is that funny you ask? He's had a woody for 20 months. 

The Best Reader Comments:

"Dear BMW.... I don't know how to ride a motorcycle but am interested in buying a seat."
- Ronald


"It's a pity that he had an erection for two years, and apparently noone noticed..."
- E W


"So he peed on his face for 2 years?"
- Levelone


"I predict a hung jury in this case."
- Zestybabe10

"My wife wants to know what model that bike was."

 - John


"I don't get it...he claims to have been hard for 20 months....but has been unable to have sex....how ugly is this guy?"

- Chuck

"This happened to me too! The two years were called 'Junior High'"

- Joe Dancer

"Tanning booth mom calls arrest for taking daughter, 5, a misunderstanding; ‘It was a sunburn,’ dad says"

Full Article:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/tanning-booth-mom-says-arrest-taking-daughter-5-153138630.html

My Summary:

Before my summary, you have got to click on the article link above and see what this woman looks like. The picture is amazing and makes the entire article and comments section even better. In short a 44 year old woman is accused of taking her child tanning with her. That's all you need to know, trust me just click on the link and see her picture then enjoy the laughs!   

The Best Reader Comments:

"How much for the talking leather couch?"

- Whoopty

"I have had turkeys that I have cooked that did not brown that well."

- Alan C

Willy Wonka called. You're late for work!

- BobbyW

Now that is some extreme tanning. I applaud her efforts, for not taking a half baked approach. So many people fail to truly commit to achieving their dreams. In her case, to become Wesley Snipes.

- Working Class Hero

"She looks like poo with hair and eyes."

 - Billy Dee

"That's not tanning, that's deep fried."

- D313

"Oompa Loompa Doompity Doo, I've got a toasted woman for you. Oompa Loompa Doompity Dee, she went from raw to extra crispy."

- Me

"Do not judge people by the color of their skin....unless they change the color of their skin....then I guess it's up for debate...."

- Required

"She must've had the booth setting on "arson"

- ShaunDogg

"She looks like she uses nutella for makeup!!!"

- Scotty's Baby Girl

"Magda!!!!"
- Nickik

"2 Teen Girls Sunbathing on Pa. Road Struck By Car."

Full Article:

http://news.yahoo.com/2-teen-girls-sunbathing-pa-road-struck-car-020517573.html

My Summary:

Yes you read the title correctly. Two girls were sunbathing ON a road in Pennsylvania, fell asleep and were struck by a car. Oh it gets better...the person who accidentally ran them over...their cousin. Fortunately the girls were taken to the hospital and survived to see the funny things readers had to say about them. 

The Best Reader Comments:

"If they find any brain damage, they may have to consider that it was a pre-existing condition.."

-Alex

"Guess what, I ran into my cousins today!"

-24x7

"When you sunbathe on the road, there is NO protection against SUV rays."

-Vitamin T

"They were tired from swimming all day in the shallow end of the gene pool."

-Kathleen

"While at the hospital, make sure to have them spayed..."

-Princess Celestia

"Nothing so see here people...Just natural selection taking its course...move along."

-Raiderhater1

"Footballer with pigtails steamrolls opponent"

Full Article:

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/soccer-dirty-tackle/dtotd-footballer-pigtails-steamrolls-opponent-220742293.html

My Summary:

This story is centered around a video taken at a kids soccer game. A little girl runs down the field towards a little boy who has the ball and completely lays him out. The funniest part about it was she didn't even seem to be going for the ball she just ran into him and knocked him down. The boy sat on the ground for a minute, popped back up and they resumed the game.     

The Best Reader Comments:

"He totally flopped."
-Guy


"Appears to be white on white. No harm no foul. No need for national media attention and I don't think there will be a riot."
-Mike


"Women play sports the same way they drive!"
-Tony


"Someone needs to teach that boy how to roll around on the ground in agony grabbing ahold of his broken leg until he gets a call from the ref. Then he'll be a real soccer player!"
-Anthony


"I don't get it, what does this have to do with the Kardashians?"
-Bling Blingz


"That's weird. What was she doing out of the kitchen?"
-Julian

"Sex-for-Hire Robots Predicted by 2050 "

Full Article:
http://news.yahoo.com/sex-hire-robots-predicted-2050-220201736.html


My Summary:
This whole idea is just weird. The reasons given why it's a good idea are even more bazaar. The article opens suggesting that this is a gift you could get for your grandkids. Imagine that under the tree on Christmas morning. "Thanks Grandpa!" One of the pro's for the robot: "you won't have to lie to your spouse about what you're doing." One of the con's: "robot prostitutes might put real ones out of business." There were some absolute classic comments made about the magical sex robot coming in 2050.


The Best Reader Comments:


"I'm not waiting that long. I'm already in a committed relationship with my toaster."
- Paladin


"This is the answer to feminism, make sure they can also cook and clean too."
- ...


"Still a better love story than Twilight."
- SaraF


"I've got green foam in my urine. I think this one gave me a computer virus!"
- Warlord

"13 grand, eh? That must be for the ultra realistic robots. I think I'd have to opt for the vacuum cleaner with Jennifer Annistons face taped on it."

- Den

"I don't care how hot they look, if it has gears, then my genitals aren't going anywhere near it."
- Comment


"Will Symantec start making condoms to protect us from viruses?"
- DwayneC

"Good, I'm tired of buying flowers."

-Mr. Srq

"already have sex with a robot--Im married."

-Mikek

"Why Your Co-Workers Don’t Like You"

Full Article:
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/why-co-workers-don-t-040156661.html


My Summary:
I would file this article under "common sense" comma do you have any? I would also throw in a side of "common courtesy" hyphen the world does not revolve around you. This article opens up with the line: "Your co-workers are judging you," which sets the tone beautifully for a no brainer list of things you simply should not do at the office. 


The Best Reader Comments:


"Walking around the office with an erection."
- Dave


"I'm so polite at the office that I poop in my hand and gently place it in the toilet to make less noise!"
- Russtallion


"I raise cattle so if my co-workers don't like me, they become steak."
- Daniel


"I was actually told by a manager(years ago when I worked in an office) that I didn't socialize enough with co-workers. he said I should go out with the group for drinks after work. I detest wasting time with people when I can be in my garden."
- American


"My co-workers all hate me. Which is weird, since I'm self-employed."
- TeaBot2000


"Six beers and cabbage soup last night. What's not to love?"
- Roger H


"Stopped reading the article after the first sentence that says "your coworkers are judging you."
Good for them. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be over here being successful."
- Alex


"...or because they are ugly. I cant stand working with ugly people."
- Meaux

"Kim Kardashian Gets Flour Bombed, Keeps On Working"

Full Article: 

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/kim-kardashian-gets-flour-bombed-keeps-working-043918781.html

My Summary:

Sometimes you just know when something is going to be comedic gold. Kim Kardashian was "working" on the red carpet and someone casually walked up and dumped a bag of flower on her. That was pretty much the story. The readers did not miss the opportunity to have some fun with this one.

The Best Reader Comments:

"She kept on working? This happened on a porn set?"

- ...

"I have a big problem with this headline, "working" implies she actually does something."

- Emma G.

"Where can I donate to the flour bomber's legal defense fund?"

- Mick Nuggett

"Which Kardashian is Snookie again? They all kind of look and act the same."

- iMacDaddy

"This isn't the first time a white substance got dumped on her."

- BenderSays

"Family Flees 'Haunted House,' Sues Landlord"

Full Article: 
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/family-flees-haunted-house-sues-landlord-165255598--abc-news-topstories.html


My Summary:
A single mom, her two kids and her boyfriend moved into a house. Shortly after they decided it was haunted and are suing the landlord for their deposit back. They even took a video that showed a spooky light turning on and a ghostly bowling pin falling over on it's own. I'm not here to debate if ghosts exist or not but this one seems pretty nuts.


The Best Reader Comments:


"Send in the cast of Jersey Shore and my bet is the ghosts leave."
- Matt


"I went to a Walmart today. Carts were flying at me from every direction, and the people all looked like they were from another realm. THAT was freakin' scary!!!!"
- Lance


"Why are ghosts always so destructive? Why can't they wake you up with a nice cup of coffee and the morning paper?"
- Blurp


"My home must be haunted too...Every time I open the refrigerator door the light comes on, and every time I go to the bathroom, the phone rings..."
- B


"I took a dump this morning that was so bad that my kids were too scared to open the door for 3 hours."
- Rick


"This article is much more entertaining when read out loud in a Foghorn Leghorn accent. :/"
- HighTideRider

"2012 End-of-the-World Countdown Based on Mayan Calendar Starts Today"

Full Article:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/2012-end-world-countdown-based-mayan-calendar-starts-101657134.html

My Summary:
YayWho was born because of the funny comments made specifically about this article. My patience with people predicting the end of the world has run it's course. The old guy who was wrong this past year not once but twice was what finally did it for me....UNTIL I heard about this fascinating time piece known as the Mayan Calendar. I mean, who wouldn't be intrigued by a stone carved by people who died over 2,000 years ago telling us the world will end on December 21, 2012?


The Best Reader Comments:


"I hope the only thing that ends December 21st, 2012 is The Karadashians show."
- Matthew


"Did they check the other side fo the stone tablet? There could be more on the back."
- Jeff Klein


"This can't be true because I have 30 year mortgage."
- Uglycat


"I know the end of the world isn't in 2012 because Marty Mcfly travelled to 2020."
- Matt


"How can the world end in 2012 when I have a yogurt that expires in 2013????"
- Joseph Smith


"The other side of the tablet says made in China."
- Mike


"I don't mean to sound like a badass or anything, but this is about the 8th end of the world I've survived..."
- Archangelous